I want to travel. I hate to fly. A bit of a problem, no doubt.

So you can imagine my predicament last weekend when I traveled to San Francisco for the Blogher Food conference. Yep, San Francisco is pretty far from South Carolina but since I purchased a conference ticket only two days before departing, I didn’t have a lot of time to process, panic and back out. And due to the short notice, I didn’t have a lot of time to plan for distractions (or drugs) for the flights either. I didn’t bring a book, dvd or even my earbuds for my ipod. And with a middle seat for the first leg from Atlanta, I couldn’t even look out the window.

My only hope was a solitaire game on my ipod. Usually when I start playing solitaire I can’t stop, so I knew once I began playing it would be no time before we landed in Dallas. Three minutes later I was looking for something else to do.

A magazine? Three minutes.

Edit a photo or two for a later post. Three minutes.

There was some kind of freaky three minute time continuum going on and to three-minute myself across the U.S. was going to make for a long trip.

After the first leg, as well as both returning legs, I had a window seat so at least I could look out the window and take pictures. And take pictures I did. So take your seat, no need for a seat belt, grab some peanuts, and your favorite cool beverage and settle in for your in-flight photo tour. No, I’m not joking, go get a snack.

We’re off! This is outside of Dallas somewhere, maybe even outside of Texas altogether… who knows. Isn’t it just neat-o? All the patterns and colors…


Here’s another…


Let’s take a break from the scenery outside to admire one fine head of hair. A beehive no less.


What a beautiful head of hair. And thank goodness for this hair. This hair took up quite a bit more than three minutes. Maybe nine or so? Just beautiful. Buzz.
(It’s a little blurry – I was trying to take it without anyone noticing.)

Back to the scenery… can you find a familiar character from a popular 80’s arcade game?


No, it’s not frogger!?! What’s wrong with you? Pac-man’s about to eat somebody’s soybeans… watch out!

Look, advertising. A captive audience. Wonder if they’d notice if I put my url out there?


What?!? Mountains? When’d we get here? That was quick.

I must’ve been looking at the hair again.

Pretty. Soft, fluffy, cushiony, pad-the-landing snow.fly5

Look! We’re here. How’d that happen? That hair is amazing.

I know this isn’t the Golden Gate bridge but it’s pretty impressive nonetheless. fly9A teeny tiny sailboat, in a vast blue sea. Well, it’s a bay, I think.


We’re landing… No! Not on the water! Who the hell is driving this thing? Unless your name is Sully you best keep on goin’ mister – or ma’am.


Okay. We landed. Pretend you’re going to the potty. Take a walk about. We’re heading back home now. This time through Denver.

No, this is not from me having a shaky hand with the wrong shutter speed. This is what San Francisco looks like at 6:00 a.m. – it’s hoppin’ – literally. That place is something, let me tell ya. The things you see at 4:30 a.m. on the way out of town…


Beautiful sunrise. I pray I live to see another.


Dang. Mountains already? I need to brush up on my geography.


Mountains forever. Jaggedy, pointy, rip-a-plane-apart mountains. But so pretty.


Okay, these are a little more flat, like an air strip.


Snack break. These “popchips” were in our treat bags at the conference and I’m so glad they were. They’re some good snackin’ stuff. Get you some.

fly10I decided it was the perfect time for a ginger-ale photo shoot. The light was perfect. So bubbly.


Whoa! Pilot man why are we so close to those?!? They look kinda sharp, could ya pull up or whatever you do to get a little higher please.


There’s not nearly enough snow on that one for any kind of a padded landing.


(FYI – I didn’t shoot any of these with a zoom. I used my Nikon D50 w/ my handy dandy 50mm 1.4. We were just flying low – or were those mountains just really high?)

Look, a river runs through it.


The front range. Isn’t that what it’s called?


Flat again. Bye, bye majestic mountains that entertained me so.


An elephant pond or is that a lake? I bet Sully could land in there just fine.


Hay bales. Hmmmm… what?!? I’ve seen people land in those on cartoons and stuff. It could happen.

Dude, don’t you know it’s not safe to walk under ladders or drive under airplanes?


Imagine another potty break in Denver. And we’re off again.


Yea! Almost home ’cause I see lots of trees down there. And a bunch of clouds so this is the last picture.


Thus ends your in-flight photo tour. Please make sure your seats are in their upright position… We thank you for traveling with Freaky Flyers and hope you enjoyed your trip.

Okay… I think that was the longest post I’ve done. There are many more pictures where those came from – enough to splice them together to make a topographic map for a large section of the U.S.

I was happy to find that I’m not the only one with a penchant for in-flight photography shoots, as well as neurotic a seemingly well-adjusted person with similar thought patterns. So maybe I’m okay. Maybe? If you’ve never stumbled upon The Pioneer Woman, here are some more in-flight photos you may enjoy perusing.

So do you have any quirks? Any strange phobias that you’d like to share?

Come on… open up… let it out. You’ll feel so much better.