The BP Gulf oil spill is terribly sad on so many levels. I’ve been hopeful, watching and waiting for a fix to the problem. It’s tricky, I know. And only magnified by the fact that it’s so deep in the ocean, some 5,000 feet. Just shy of a mile.

That’s crazy.

That’s like trying to thread a needle in a tornado. Or shave your legs while riding a roller coaster. Or have all of my laundry washed, dried, folded and put away at the same time.

Why drill at such depths? One reason that I’ve heard is for aesthetics, which I can understand. I’m all about the aesthetics. Who wants to sit on a beach, soaking up the rays and see an ugly oil rig on the horizon? Not me.

But who wants to encounter another problem like this one, another oil leak at ocean depths that make it almost impossible to reach in order to address any problems that may arise. And they will arise. Malfunctions and faulty equipment leading to disasters will happen. There’s no way to totally avoid it. Problems should be expected, with a plan in place ready to fix them.

I’m no engineer, but I do have a reasonable solution to future drilling at such deep depths. Don’t do it. Instead, if we are to continue offshore drilling, I’d like to present the Oil Rig Beautification Program (ORBP).

(Before moving along, please let me state that this: in no way whatsoever is this a political site. Any hateful comments will be deleted. Just like that.)

The Oil Rig Beautification Program (ORBP) would allow oil rigs to be built closer to land and not be an eye sore, which enables them to be accessed and repaired with greater ease and speed. Here you have an average ugly ol’ oil rig.

Here is the same rig beautified under the Oil Rig Beautification Program.

A lovely tropical island. Mai Tais anyone?

Wait there’s more!

Just imagine you’re walking along the beach, looking for shells, and look! A ship!

So beautiful.

That’s how this works. The Oil Rig Beautification Program is all about bringing beauty and loveliness to the ugly world of oil rigs.

And here’s another that’s sure to be a hit with the kiddos.

How fun is that people?!?

Speaking of fun I’ll end with my personal favorite.

A smiley face, to brighten your day, as it sucks black gold from far below the ocean floor.

And there you have it folks, the Oil Rig Beautification Program (ORBP).

It could work.

It could.