Sleep Training

Inspiration comes in many forms around here. How does the saying go? Necessity is the mother of invention? Invention is the mother of necessity? Or is it the mother is the necessity of invention?

Daily our dog, Jake, takes an imaginary trek in doggie dreamland, where he romps, runs and galavants about, feet jerking, tail waggin’ and even a growl every now and then. That, along with the accompanying posture, is a sight for sore eyes.

I got to thinking, what if we could do that? What if we could exercise in our sleep? Some kind of virtual exercise while sleeping at the same time?

Because honestly people, I don’t enjoy exercising for exercise sake. Gardening, mopping, painting a room, snorkeling, chopping wood, hauling rocks, digging a ditch, herding sheep, or any activity that involves a task or purpose? Fine.

But exercise, just to exercise? Not a fan. Sweating, cramping, rashes (oh lawd), dizziness, sweating, incontinence, all the jiggling, sweating… And people, I’ve come to realize that I just don’t know how to run and breathe at the same time. And, like I’ve said before, I would have a big problem if I had to run from a lion.

And no arguing here, strong, healthy bodies are important. But what if you could get conditioned while you slept? What if you sweat but you just didn’t know about it? What if those leg cramps or shin splints were just a dream in a far away land?

Sleep training, yeah, that’s what we’ll call it. Sleep training. It has a good ring to it.

So all of you genius rocket scientist computer people out there, I implore you to make a virtual exercise while sleeping thingamajig so I can snooze my way through all of the sweating and everything, especially the incontinence. That’s really a stinker.

Please? Purty please?

But until then I guess I’ll keep on sweating and trying to learn how to not pass out, because one day that lion is gonna come a calling and I’ll need to give it my best shot.

Heading to the treadmill now. Again.