Sleep Training

Inspiration comes in many forms around here. How does the saying go? Necessity is the mother of invention? Invention is the mother of necessity? Or is it the mother is the necessity of invention?

Daily our dog, Jake, takes an imaginary trek in doggie dreamland, where he romps, runs and galavants about, feet jerking, tail waggin’ and even a growl every now and then. That, along with the accompanying posture, is a sight for sore eyes.

I got to thinking, what if we could do that? What if we could exercise in our sleep? Some kind of virtual exercise while sleeping at the same time?

Because honestly people, I don’t enjoy exercising for exercise sake. Gardening, mopping, painting a room, snorkeling, chopping wood, hauling rocks, digging a ditch, herding sheep, or any activity that involves a task or purpose? Fine.

But exercise, just to exercise? Not a fan. Sweating, cramping, rashes (oh lawd), dizziness, sweating, incontinence, all the jiggling, sweating… And people, I’ve come to realize that I just don’t know how to run and breathe at the same time. And, like I’ve said before, I would have a big problem if I had to run from a lion.

And no arguing here, strong, healthy bodies are important. But what if you could get conditioned while you slept? What if you sweat but you just didn’t know about it? What if those leg cramps or shin splints were just a dream in a far away land?

Sleep training, yeah, that’s what we’ll call it. Sleep training. It has a good ring to it.

So all of you genius rocket scientist computer people out there, I implore you to make a virtual exercise while sleeping thingamajig so I can snooze my way through all of the sweating and everything, especially the incontinence. That’s really a stinker.

Please? Purty please?

But until then I guess I’ll keep on sweating and trying to learn how to not pass out, because one day that lion is gonna come a calling and I’ll need to give it my best shot.

Heading to the treadmill now. Again.

Comments

  1. says

    Makes perfect sense to me! All that arm floppin’, leg running, rapid eye movement has got to amount to something!! Right!?!

  2. says

    I may have to sleep in a separate bed from my hubby if I’m going to be thrashing around like that, but if it means not having to exercise while awake, I’m all for making the switch :)

  3. Jennifer Kreh says

    Sleep Training sounds wonderful! I think my husband Bill runs in his sleep sometimes and has been known to play Dodgeball:)

  4. says

    Now there’s a fantastic idea. I am the same – I intensely, intensely dislike exercising just for the sake of doing it alone. Every so often I’ll imagine that I’m going to start some kind of daily routine, only to have it fall through after about two days (maybe three.)

    Our Kuvasz, Icewind, sometimes gets those dreams, although I can’t figure out what he’s chasing. He’s a big, white floor rug 99.9% of the time. Haven’t caught our Tibetan Spaniel, Keani, taking any dreamland treks yet. :)

  5. says

    What a good idea! I totally agree with you about exercise for exercise sake. Yuk!
    When our German Shepherd does the dreaming dog thing, she actually barks in muffled tones. You can quietly urge her on with statements like “Go get that cat girl.” The feet go faster and the barking increases. UNLESS, we wake her. Then she looks at you with this “What in the world are you talking about” look.

  6. says

    What a perfect idea!! I have had friends ask me “Don’t you just feel pumped & invigorated after you exercise?” Ummm…NO! I feel like a MAC truck hit me and now may day is ruined. Sign me up…sleep training all the way for this chic.

  7. says

    Awww I love the doggy pics. Heck if I can do the sleep training thing (once they come out with it!) my other half will find his own bed. I ain’t goin’ nowhere!

    Can you imagine?? Waking up and already being able to cross something off your daily list! HA! That would be nice.

  8. says

    I’m onboard. I used to actually love to exercise but when doing something I loved. Riding, swimming, tennis. Gym? Did it, but cause I had to and always thought it was boring. Now, nursing a severe leg injury and walking is difficult…yeah, I miss all of it right about now!

  9. Sandybee says

    My doctor had absolutely no sympathy for me when I complained about the same things you’ve listed here. He gave me some cortisone cream for the rash. He told me that some people pass out from exercising. So, I didn’t even bother to bring up the jiggling and sweating. I was told to keep walking and come back in 2 weeks with no more excuses. That was 5 weeks ago. I’ll go back eventually. At least I’m taking daily walks now.

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