Are you reluctant?
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Take it away Sandy…
.When Amy asked me to write a post for her blog, I immediately thought about her beautiful photography and how mine doesn’t compare to hers. It doesn’t even come close! But that’s okay because I have a secret that I want to share with you today.I’ve learned to NOT compare and get all hung up on what others do.
When it comes to living out our passions, we have to figure out what makes us tick or what inspires us. And then as we learn to let go of the imperfect, which often robs us of our potential, we embrace the freedom to be ourselves and move forward with confidence and clarity.
By the way, have I told you how much I adore Amy? We’ve seen each other 3 times this year.– BlissDom, Napa Valley, and Park City. We still have 2 trips planned later this Fall. I appreciate the friendships I’ve made through Blog-land. I’ve learned so much from some very special ladies! (Love you, Amy! Thank you for having me here today.)
Anyway, I just wrote a book released this week, The Reluctant Entertainer, and it encourages women to be real with their entertaining. It offers great wisdom to those who get caught up in the comparison trap and gives savvy entertaining ideas.
Since Amy asked me to talk about my book, I thought I’d share my “Best Strawberry Bread” recipe that is featured in the back. Yes, along with wisdom, advice and ideas for the reluctant entertainer (anyone will enjoy this book, even the seasoned entertainer), I have some very yummy, tried and true recipes …
I went to my strawberry patch last night, as it’s growing thin now, and picked these beauties. I just love how the little white blossom fell into the bowl right as I was finishing up.
My daughter helped wash, stem and slice up the strawberries and we added some raspberries to create a more unique flavor
Mixed together and tossed it in the oven.
I love making extra loaves for my neighbors.
And then a large loaf for the family.
Hospitality is about helping others to feel warm and welcomed. It’s not about being the perfect family or entertainer. And to me, on this night, it was also about sharing a loaf of bread with our neighbor.
Do you struggle with “perfect” or the comparison trap, to where it stops you from inviting others in?
** True confessions: When I made this bread I forgot one simple step. Make sure and add the berries at the last, and then mix the batter by hand. It’s much better with chunky bites of fruit!
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Thanks Sandy! This looks delicious. Can’t wait to make it, and soon! I think I may have almost all the ingredients on hand too.
And guess what?!? One person will be randomly selected to receive a copy of The Reluctant Entertainer, by my friend, and guest, Sandy Coughlin. Just leave a comment answering Sandy’s question above…
Do you struggle with “perfect” or the comparison trap, to where it stops you from inviting others in?
OR share a tip for no stress entertaining.
Can’t wait to hear comments and ideas!
***Be sure to leave your comment before Wednesday, August 4, 2010 midnight PST. One comment (entry) per person. Winner will be randomly selected and announced sometime on Thursday, August 5, 2010.
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By the way, if you’re looking for an easy peasy chicken recipe, that would be a perfect compliment to Sandy’s yummy bread, check out this guest post I did for Tasty Kitchen where I tried out a recipe for Lazy Chicken. It’s easy and tasty! Tasty Kitchen is a great place to find all sorts of recipes and you can join (for free & no strings attached) to submit your own favorites to share with us all!
:•)
We live near a lot of family so we have them over a quite a bit, and I never worry too much about them judging me harshly, but when it comes to having others over I’m a lot more reluctant… Wish I could just think of everyone as family!!! The bread looks delish, and I’m wondering if the bread pan is pampered chef? I love that you can make four loaves at once in one pan!
I do struggle with my home being “perfect” before people coming over. We have been renovating for years! I’m tired of waiting, and think I need to start having people over again!
Oh boy, this has been a life long struggle for me. I not only compare myself to other women but I compare my kids to other kids and my husband to other husbands!! Makes for a real happy life…NOT!!! The Lord has really been teaching me throughout the years to let that go, and I’m better than I used to be but I still struggle with it. I really do have a wonderful husband and great kids and I started being more grateful and looking at the positives of my family. You’ll always find people you think you’re “worse” than which will make you depressed or find those who you think you’re better than which will make you prideful. Comparing is a lose, lose proposition! Such a waste of time and energy!!
This book looks great, I’m always looking for new recipes!
Make ahead food. I love entertaining for brunch. I make it the night before, throw on a pot of coffee and make some juice and put out fruit in the morning, and I am all set. I also have the rest of the day to myself…not cleaning for company.
I like to try to keep the ingredients on hand for a menu that I am very familiar with and that doesn’t take too long to throw together. That way when the chance comes up to have people over at the spur of the moment, I don’t have to fret over what we’ll have or running to the store. It really makes it possible for this control freak to be able to say, “Come one over!” a lot more often.
I used to be HORRIBLE about comparison. And the worst thing was, I was setting myself up to be completely disappointed because the comparison was TOTALLY unrealistic. I compared myself to my sister-in-law who had a husband with a high paying job, a gorgeous fancy new house, and she didn’t work. So when I went to her house all I could see was how beautiful her house was and how perfect everything was. I have a friend who is from a very wealthy family and she is in the same situation. McMansion, stay-at-home mom, unlimited money. OF COURSE compared to them I failed miserably in my eyes. SHAME ON ME!! My life is my life, not theirs. I am MUCH better about it now. Yes, I do want my house to be fairly clean, and yes, I want the food to taste pretty good, but I have stopped OBSESSING about striving for perfection. Some of the most fun parties I’ve been too were not in gorgeous homes with gourmet food. They were good friends and good times. So, now I’m making up for lost time. We have friends over for supper quite a bit and I relax and enjoy!!!
Well, of course I do. My current roadblock is my kitchen that needs to be remodeled. But, I’ll work through it as always!
Yes, I do struggle w/ not having a perfect house for entertaining, but have learned so much from Sandy’s blog. And I’ve learned to let the little things go (like having a spotless floor) because I’m gonna have to clean AFTER we have people over anyway 😉 Hoping to win Sandy’s book!
Thanks!
Yes, I struggle with the balance of having a clean house to serve good food in! I love to cook and seldom hedge over my cooking, but getting the house in order stresses me out. I have learned, though, that friends have been more impressed that I DO have people over when my house isn’t immaculate than when I work hard to clean, clean, clean. One thing I love to do in the summer is eat outdoors on the lawn, complete with table linens and dinner music. The focus leaves both the house and even the food, and becomes all about enjoying the moment. The book sounds intriguing and will hopefully encourage more of us to buck tradition and entertain in whatever manner we can!
I am constantly torn between wanting to invite people into our home but always feeling like it’s not good enough. I feel like the house isn’t good enough, we’re not good enough (too boring) 🙂 or that the food won’t be good enough. I really can’t wait to check out your book!!
I absolutely love to entertain, and it comes to me pretty easily. But, the older I get, the more anxiety I get, and I have found over the past few years that we invite people into our home less and less, as I am worried that they are judging. Many of our friends have big, beautiful homes, and my husband and I live in a little Cape Cod that is perfect for us, but certainly not the McMansion that our friends occupy. So, yes, I do worry that they will only see my old linoleum floors and not my heartfelt food I have prepared.
Yes! I compare and apologize and talk myself out of entertaining all of the time! I’m slowly realizing the blessings that I’m missing out on by being such a perfectionist. One of my husbands friends actually told me a while back that he wouldn’t come over anymore if I kept apologizing for the mess or dinner being late or whatever was bothering me at the time… he just wanted to hang out with our family and enjoy the time – not feel like an imposition. How unfortunate that my pride kept him from enjoying himself!
I would love to win this book… I’ve got lots to learn, and a husband that loves to entertain. Some practical tips/reminders/recipes would be most appreciated!
yes, i do struggle with both the perfection and comparison traps. we have friends who are great entertainers and have the “perfect” house. it makes the rest of us not want to even bother anymore. We actually went over 2 years without having anybody over for dinner 🙁 we’re trying to break out of our shell a bit and just be us, but it has been difficult. i would love to win this book to get some practical tips!
Even though I think it should get easier to not worry about it the older I get…I do still worry about the “perfect” part and trying to make things just right for any guests that might come to my home. I used to entertain my friends a lot but the desire has dwindled because of the comparison issue. Maybe this discussion will allow me to rethink my hang-ups and get back into the fun of enjoying the company of my amazing family and friends.
I’m a perfectionist. It takes me two days of frenzied cleaning every nook and surface. Then I feel like I have to rush through my cooking. I’m getting a little better but I also have learned to compromise on the cooking stress by utilizing some purchased items to add as fillers to my menu.
I do struggle with the desire to achieve “perfection” but have found that the less pressure I put in myself the better entertainer I’ve become as well as the “happier hostess.” I try to focus on simple fresh seasonal recipes that are echoed in my table scape. Fresh finds from my yard set the scene and embrace the season. When I’m relaxed, my guests are relaxed and that makes for a wonderful evening enjoyed by all!
Well, I like having guests and chatting and cooking for others. But I have also have the fear that “what if I’m not doing good enough” or “what if they think my floor is grimy and my washroom is slimy?” I try to get over that because in the end, entertaining really means having a good time with your guests and having fun together. I’m learning… last Saturday I had 3 friends over. We enjoyed the time together. I’m inviting another family of 5 over in 2 weeks. Hope it goes well!
I feel like I’m doing pretty good.. the fact that I don’t have kids running around yet might help though 🙂
This is one of those days that I happened to find myself here… and I found exactly what I needed to “hear”. Letting go, letting go, letting go is the reminder I needed today. Enjoy by letting go.
I love to entertain and I like to think that I’ve learned over the years to be more relaxed and realize that it’s all about the fellowship and not the perfect house or perfect meal that matters most. I do notice that it’s harder to practice this if some time goes between hosting people. I guess i just need to entertain more often. 🙂 I love the concept of this book and look forward to reading it.